So I'm a little poor.
It's cool - for a while we didn't have a place to live but now everything is sorted, we have somewhere, we're getting by. One thing that wasn't a necessity was internet so we didn't think ot get any when we moved our stuff into the new apartment (you know... because we had about £20 between us for food for an unknown amount of time)
The guy upstairs bumped into us and said we could use his which was mighty generous. We were very thankful.
I'd think he was a super awesome guy... if it weren't for the way he talks to Hannah and I. I mean this dude says some pretty fucking outrageous stuff.
Like when I first met him we went to his apartment and had a cup of tea together and Hannah and I were talking about how I didn't really want Hannah to get piercings because I think her face is so classically beautiful I don't want it to change. He then immediately replied to Hannah 'Yeah and you know... to be fair she's the one that has to sit on your face, so...' and began to laugh.
I. Was. Appalled.
First of all that's pretty forward for a first meeting with someone and you should probably be attempting to make a decent first impression. Second, you should NEVER assume that a couple have sex - some people/couples just don't and even if they do it's none of your business. Asexuality isn't discussed or taught as commonly as it should be but as someone who pretty much is asexual and with many asexual friends comments like this piss me off. It reminds those of us who simply don't care for sex that you're abnormal in the eyes of most people around you. You could have really hit a nerve there. It's private and in no way was it his business. I also feel that if we were a straight couple or two men he wouldn't have said that and it is because we are women that he feels he can get away with saying that.
It isn't the first time I've had people pry into sexual aspects of my personal life. Growing up I've dated men and women. When I dated men no one EVER asked about what we got up to, if we got up to anything but whenever I've been with a woman (which I have for the past 5 years or so) people have felt it's OK to ask incredibly personal questions.
The usual suspects?
'So what do you guys...do?'
'Which one of you is the guy?'
'Isn't that weird/gross?'
'Is it better with girls or guys?'
etc.
Do you want to know my usual answer?
'It's none of your damn business'
Except for when they ask which one of us is 'the guy'... Well since we're both women in this relationship I guess, huh,
neither of us?
It is the narrow minded view that every relationship, regardless of the people in it, has to have a 'guy' and a 'girl'. I won't go into the whole gender binary argument, any educated person will be well aware.
What I'm tired of is the feeling that it's OK to ask same sex couples increasingly personal questions. If they've previously stated they're OK with that, fine - they've allowed you to ask such questions. If not then what happens/doesn't happen in their bedroom (or their kitchen floor, or their desk at work or Disneyland or wherever they may like to get it on) is up to them.
Now back to Mr Pervert Upstairs.
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to tolerate his inappropriate speech/behaviour.
it went from inappropriate comments to flirty messages. As soon as I log onto my laptop to check what's going on upon the interwebz in the morning there he is, popping up on my screen with 'Morning beautiful :)' which could be a compliment from a friend, but from him it makes me squirm. He constantly tells me that he thinks I'm pretty or cute but such comments leave me feeling uncomfortable rather than complimented.
Sadly, though, I'm not the one he REALLY has eyes for.
Yup.
He really has a thing for Hannah.
Now I am sure that if I were in a heterosexual relationship he wouldn't say this shit...
But the other evening out of the blue he told Hannah: 'It's a shame. If you weren't all girls only you'd be my perfect woman' and kept hinting at how she was perfect for him, how he'd love to date her. How he's working out, losing weight, becoming more attractive and really making stupidly obvious hints.
It seems upsetting as it is as if he doesn't accept her legitimately as a lesbian and that she is something he can 'turn'. Unfortunately this is a highly popularised opinion amongst some males.
There are more examples. If you could be a fly on the wall you'd understand how horribly uncomfortable it is. He patronises Hannah, belittles her for being a woman/being younger than he is/not having a job, any time Hannah and I disagree on something (which we tend to do in a jokey manner) is referred to as a 'domestic' as if to belittle our relationship. His badgering, his flirting, his bullying of MAH WOMAN is literally driving me mad.
We're in the process of getting our own internet sorted so we won't have to rely on him/be gracious towards him for letting us use his internet.
In conclusion I guess the point is I'm tired of people feeling that because people aren't in a heterosexual/heteronormative relationship that they can ask incredibly personal questions. Maybe, for lesbian relationships, people want to know because lesbians have been so highly fetishized that people (I hate to say, they're usually male) want to know all the sordid details. It's not for you to know and quite frankly that's what the internet is for. The guy within this rant just takes it to a whole new level.
Apologies for the rant, I hadn't had a good bitch in a while and that one has been building up for about 3 weeks now.
